Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts
Showing posts with label horror. Show all posts

Monday, January 3, 2011

10 movies I didn't care for in 2010

Unlike yesterday's list, these movies did have something positive about them. Not enough to make me like any of them, but enough to keep me from screaming that I wanted my two hours back right after.


Number 40



I appreciated that it made an attempt to fill in Fred Krueger's backstory and even played with the idea of turning him into a sympathetic character. But then it wussed out Big Time and just remade the original.

Number 39



I don't have a high tolerance for romantic comedies, but this had a couple of things going for it. I love movies with large casts and intertwining plots (Playing by Heart and Crash, for instance) and I like a lot of the people in this one (mostly folks from Alias and Grey's Anatomy, and Anne Hathaway and Queen Latifah). But there was an unfortunate, anthology-like feel to it where - even though the stories connected - they weren't consistent in tone or quality and I found myself wishing to skip past many of them, even when they featured a favorite actor.

Number 38



I knew what I was getting into by going to see this, but there was nothing else going on at the theater that week. Two years ago, I was a big Gerard Butler fan, but with The Ugly Truth, Gamer, and Law Abiding Citizen he's been working hard to fix that. On the other hand, while I don't like a lot of romantic comedies, I do like certain things about them and The Bounty Hunter managed to push a couple of those buttons. Not creatively,  mind you, but in that knee-jerk, "I like it when they do that" way. And Butler and Aniston are nice to look at. I have to take Jennifer Aniston in small doses, but this is the first thing I've seen her in since the last season of Friends.


Number 37



This was the movie that killed 3D for me. It was murky and thanks to the 3D's being added in post-production, those effects were lame and unnecessary. The story wasn't much better. The scenes with the gods could've been left out with no effect on the plot and none of the actors looked like they were trying very hard. Also, if you're going to throw in Bubo (not necessarily a great decision in the first place), don't throw him in just to laugh at him. You're only reminding us how silly this all is. What I did like though were the creature designs, some of the fights, and that Perseus didn't end up with Andromeda. Though that last one is because there was no chemistry between the two of them and forcing a marriage at the end would've made the movie lamer still. I also think that Gemma Arterton makes a much prettier Burgess Meredith than Burgess Meredith did.

Number 36



I expected to hate this, so it's actually an upgrade to put it on today's list. Travolta was absolutely grating in the trailers, but I was surprised to find him kind of funny in the movie. The plot didn't make a whole lot of sense, but the movie tried some new things and I usually appreciate that.

Number 35



I went to see this for one reason: Timothy Olyphant. And on that level, it didn't disappoint. The rest of it though was a pretty trite - though effectively scary at times - horror movie with a lame ending.

Number 34



Speaking of lame endings. They had me right up until then though. Butt-kicking Denzel and any kind of Mila Kunis will do that for you.

Number 33



Yes, I liked this better than Clash of the Titans. What does that tell you? Well, for one thing, the 3D was infinitely better.

For another, Step Up 3D delivers exactly what it promises: hot people dancing and nothing else. It rips off the thousand other dance movies that came before it ("They're going to tear down our hangout spot! We have to win the dance contest so we can save it!"), but I can't decide if that's laziness or a charming homage. I have to give the movie credit for meeting all its goals; it's just that they set the bar so very, very low.

Number 32



This was going to be a fascinating update of Frankenstein. It was headed in that direction and I even appreciated the creepy, "oh-they-went-too-far" scene for what it said about the characters and the Wrongness of the whole situation. But then the third act started and it all fell apart.

Number 31



I laughed a lot harder at this one than I did at Dinner for Schmucks ("Hey, hey, yo, yo. I'll be down in a minute. I'm having sex.") and appreciated the Adventures in Babysitting-ness of it all, but I wanted to connect more with Steve Carell and Tina Fey's characters than I did. Their worries about their marriage felt forced, which undermined them as characters and the plot in general.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

12 movies I hated in 2010

They say that every cloud has a silver lining. If that's true, the silver linings in these storm clouds were bolts of lightning about to strike the tree I was standing under. From worst to...well, "best" doesn't seem like the appropriate word, but "least worst" maybe:

Number 52



I wrote a full review for the Kill All Monsters! blog, but the short version is that Skyline had no story. It was an idea for a story, but it went nowhere and ended at what should have been the movie's halfway point. Horrible.

Number 51



The movie that proved that M Night Shyamalan is so far gone that he doesn't even have to direct the movie for it to suck. Devil didn't make any sense and replaced Plot and Character Motivation with things like Fate and Whatever Shyamalan Decided to Pull Out of His Butt.


Number 50



Better than Devil only because Shyamalan started with something wonderful. But he managed to suck every bit of joy out of it, even going as far as taking one of the most positive, fun-loving characters ever created and turning him into a mopey downer, while also inexplicably mispronouncing his name.

Number 49



"The three of us have to go to Hades to rescue my mom, but first we have to find three magic items that will each let one of us escape once we get there. No, no, don't even think about the math. We can figure that out once we're in the underworld and have no other way of getting out. I'm sure it'll be fine."

Number 48



I love Peter Jackson, but how can anyone manage to make a movie about a child murderer that doesn't make you feel anything about what's going on?

Number 47



Takes everything awesome about the Jonah Hex concept and throws it out the stagecoach window in favor of making Wild Wild West II.

Number 46



As an amateur theologian, I try not to be too judgmental of movies that get it wrong, but seriously...Legion didn't even try. I need to watch The Prophecy again to cleanse my palate.

Number 45



Man, people love their blue posters, don't they?

My big problem with this one is that it's based entirely on my least-favorite element of vampire mythology: that getting bitten by a vampire automatically turns you into one. I disliked more than just that, but you can read the rest in my review.

Number 44



I love Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore, but Chloe didn't do either of them justice, mostly because Moore and Seyfried's characters don't act in any way resembling real people. Liam's character is fine, but he's really just a plot device.

Number 43



I know a lot of people like this one, but I'm guessing that they tend to like crime movies more than I do. I need a really likable - or at least relatable - character to hook me into a crime drama and He Loves His Girlfriend isn't enough to do that for me. I had a hard time rooting for or caring about anyone in The Town.

Number 42



It set itself up to be so much, but - though it had a moment or two - it was so little. Some of its biggest stars were nothing more than cameos and it unnecessarily used CGI when practical effects were needed. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to light a stuntman on fire that you have to create flames on your computer?

Number 41



Two of my favorite comedians. My least favorite comedy of the year. It made me laugh a couple of times, but that only reminded me of the reaction I should have been having through the rest of the film about unlikable people doing stupid, ridiculous things.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Elsewhere... Halloween Stuff!

It was a horror-filled week for my other online writing...

What Are You Reading?



Brief reviews of Living with Zombies and Alan Moore's The Courtyard.

 Custom Jumps



Last week's Five for Friday wasn't exactly horror-related, but I did include a couple of horror titles in my list. The assignment was to Name Five Manga Serials -- Or Works That Could Be Serialized -- That Would Be In The Japanese-Style Anthology Created Just For You. Mine were:

* Lone Wolf and Cub
* Buddha
* Anne Freaks
* Priest
* Samurai 7

Food or Comics?
 


This week's comics on a budget shopping list included Frankie Stein, Fish N' Chips, Perhapanauts, and The Anchor.

Attack of the Mini-Comics!



The most recent Gorillas Riding Dinosaurs column covered four, horror-related mini-comics.