Buffettese

I e-mailed Captain Randy down in Florida to see if he'd heard about Buffett's injury. Randy replied in what can only be described as Buffettese:

I guess Stars Fall on Australia too. Life is Just a Tire Swing. Now Everybody’s Talking about his Reggae Accident under the Big Top. Gravity Storms can happen when you’re on the Far Side of The World. Now he will Have a Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling. Looks like even a Cowboy In The Jungle can’t keep from Defying Gravity. The hospital is sending the Old Man Home, But I’m sure he will Survive. He’ll Kick it in Second Wind and finish the Australian shows for another Party at the end of the World. Defiantly earning his License to Chill When the Coast is Clear. aahhh The stories We Could Tell. . Don’t Chu- Know, Clichés.