Land of the Lost: Season Three (Part Two: Survival Kit)

Season One: Part One, Two, and Three.
Season Two: Part One and Two.
Season Three: Part One.

Episode 2: “Survival Kit”

Richard Kiel (Jaws from the James Bond films) plays a caveman in this one. We’re not told how he got here, but he’s apparently been here a long time. Jack calls him a Cro-Magnon, but since he didn’t know what an allosaurus was in the previous episode, we probably shouldn’t trust his expertise. Kiel’s Malak isn’t much like a Cro-Magnon, but he’s not really a Neanderthal either, so let’s just go with the generic “caveman” and move on.

We know that Malak’s been here a long time because he’s set up a system under which he bullies the Sleestaks into paying him tribute. In return, he doesn’t release the floodgates in his cave that keep an underground river from flooding the Sleestaks’ home. He’s become dissatisfied with the Sleestak’s usual offerings of produce though. He wants meat and gold and jewels now and releases the floodwaters until the Sleestaks can get him what he wants.

The Sleestak leader consults with the Library of Skulls and Enik to determine that only the Marshalls have what Malak wants. Meanwhile, Holly’s sick with a nasty cold and a bad fever. Jack and Will are worried about her and Jack thinks that antibiotics are her only hope for getting better. Will explains that there were antibiotics in the survival kit that they brought to the Land of the Lost with them, but that he and his dad were never able to salvage it from the swamp. Knowing that the kit is waterproof, Jack proposes that they look for it again. They leave Cha-Ka behind to stay with Holly.

After the break: swamp-diving, godhood, and conclusive evidence of the alternate reality.


Jack’s apparently a much better diver than Rick and Will, because he finds the gear in no time while Will keeps the two-headed monster Lulu at bay with a bamboo spear. Back at the temple though, Enik is helping the Sleestaks raid the Marshalls home. Holly and Cha-Ka are helpless to prevent it, but Cha-Ka gets off a warning to Jack and Will with a horn trumpet.

Jack and Will return in time to drive the Sleestaks away, but they can’t save their stuff. The Sleestaks even take the survival kit with the medicine. Enik stays behind though and tries to explain that the Sleestaks’ actions are for the good of everyone. He tells the Marshalls about Malak and how the tribute is due whenever the Land of the Lost’s three moons are aligned as they are now. This is the best evidence yet for my alternate reality theory. In Season Two, Will and Holly learned of a pylon that opened a portal home when the moons lined up. They don’t know anything about it now, so these can’t be the same Marshalls from the first two seasons.

Also, this Enik is much too willing to buy into Malak’s claims of godhood. In fact, this reality’s Enik isn’t nearly as intelligent as the one from Seasons One and Two. The Sleestaks treat him like an unwelcome relative and he just lets them. He also seems very concerned about logic and comes across more like a selfish, two-dimensional Spock than the complicated and conflicted character from earlier.

Enik goes on to explain that the flooding of the Lost City caves also threatens the temple that the Marshalls live in. If the river isn’t contained again, their home will be undermined and sink into the swamp. Jack is able to convince Enik though that if Malak can turn the river on, then Jack and Will can turn it off again. Enik agrees to stay and protect Holly while the others (including Cha-Ka) go try.

When the Sleestaks return to Malak’s cave with the Mashalls stuff, Malak is pleased, but he demands one final offering: a slave to attend him. And not some lowly Sleestak slave either. He wants someone who can serve him both day and night; the Sleestaks can only operate at night. The Sleestaks depart, promising to find someone more worthy.

Thanks to Cha-Ka’s tracking skills, the Marshalls have trailed the Sleestak thieves to Malak’s cave. As soon as the Sleestaks leave, the Marshalls enter and confront Malak. While Malak is clearly more physically powerful than the Marshalls and can prevent them from taking their stuff back or closing the floodgates, Jack is unafraid. He notices that Malak has a toothache and observes that Malak can’t be a god if he feels physical pain. Jack claims that on the contrary, he’s the one who’s a god.

He gives Malak a pain pill from the survival kit, but that’s not enough to convince Malak of Jack’s deity. Malak wants to see more, so Jack uses matches and a flashlight to prove it. He promises to bestow the power of the flashlight to Malak in return for Malak’s permanently shutting off the underground river and returning the Marshall’s equipment. Malak agrees.

Back at the temple, the Sleestak leader tries to take Enik captive so that Enik can be Malak’s slave. Enik says that the Marshalls would make far better slaves though – leaving Enik to continue serving the Sleestaks during the day – and if the Sleestak leader hurries to Malak’s cave, he can broker the deal and save the Lost City.

The Sleestak’s arrive after Malak and Jack have permanently shut the floodgate and just as the Marshalls are getting ready to leave. Malak has the flashlight now and it’s made him cocky enough that he doesn’t light the torches he usually has to keep the Sleestaks under control. He’s able to hold them off temporarily until the battery goes out and the lizard-men attack. Jack, Will, and Cha-Ka escape with their stuff in the confusion.