Separated at birth, black cassock edition

This was the front page of the New York Times website a few days ago:


The dude in the main photo is a Vatican priest who landed in some matzoh ball soup* for comparing the criticism of the Catholic Church's latest sex abuse scandals to persecution of the Jews. Which, as you might imagine, didn't sit too well with a whole lot of Jewish people. And, apparently, it wasn't particularly well received by advocates for sex abuse victims, either. I have to imagine that's a pretty rare double-whammy in terms of groups being offended by a single comment.

Upon reading the story, I had two main thoughts:
1) That was sort of a dumb thing to say; and
2) I'm almost sure I've never met Raniero Cantalamessa before, but, golly he looks familiar.

And then I thought: Sure! I know where I've seen this guy before! The short white hair, the close-cropped white beard, the glasses, the black turtlenecky thing, the somewhat imperial stance behind a lectern on a stage. Why, that's not Raniero Cantalamessa at all! It's Steve Jobs!


Well, I guess if the priest gig doesn't work out, Raniero could always move to Cupertino and hawk iPads.

* That's Jewish hot water. 10 points if you figured it out without checking this footnote

New York's archbishop, now in economy size

The New York Times web site today featured coverage of the installation of Archbishop Timothy Dolan.

I'm not Catholic, so I have to admit this photo really made me wonder: Are all archbishops like 10 times taller than the other clergymen, or is this guy just a freak of nature? See for yourself:

(Click to enlarge)

In other news, Daddy Geek Boy posted a list of his 10 Favorite Movie Characters (thankfully, he didn't specify "Of All Time," because that phrase is so often redundant), and then tagged me and a few other bloggers to compile our own 10 Best lists. So I've got my first-ever blog-related homework.

SFTC's crack research team has already begun culling video clips from our extensive library*, and you can expect to read the official SFTC list within the next day or two. Yeah, I can tell: You're holding your breath.

* YouTube.

Do you believe in gosh?

I'm certainly not saying the message is wrong, but I think the folks behind the Athiest Bus Campaign in London might need some help with their marketing strategy.

Because if there's one thing that blows about organized religion, it's that part where adherents try to convince everyone else that they're right and you're wrong.

And putting that message on a big bus ad? Yeah, I don't think that's going to help. Although people are usually so rational about their religious beliefs - I'm sure they'll want to take time to reconsider when they see "There's probably no god" whizzing by them in traffic.

Now, a quick word about the title of today's post: I thought the god-gosh thing made it appropriate to the theme of this entry. But it's a dual-purpose title. Because it's also the name of a very funny Mitch Hedberg CD that was released posthumously (first use of that word on SFTC, I'm pretty sure) a few months ago.

As astute SFTC readers know, the very name of this blog is a rip-off of a Mitch joke. I like to think of him as the patron saint of my site, although I'm not really sure if there is such a thing.

One funny clip from Do You Believe in Gosh (the CD, not the post you're reading) has Hedberg, during a live performance, observing that there's an "Improv" sign somewhere on the stage, before adding, "I had a bad set here last night and they added an E to the end of the sign." Later, he asks: "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus... or a really cool opotamus?"

More Mitch-isms here. Long live Mitch.

Pain in the apse

Imagine, if you will, that the managers of dozens of McDonald's restaurants in cities across the U.S. were constantly getting in trouble -- and having to pay millions of dollars in settlements -- for sexually abusing children.

I'd hazard a guess that, after a while, people might stop going to those particular McDonald's locations. I'd even go out on a limb and predict that consumers -- even consumers in other cities -- might be outraged enough to, I don't know, stay home and cook their own crappy burgers.

Anyway, today's coverage on the Denver archdiocese having to shell out $5.5 mil doesn't even seem like news anymore -- just another episode in a tired old story. And it's really none of my business, but it did make me wonder again why people keep patronizing these places.