Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Hard-ship

I'm not really sure why it's necessary, but boating has a language all its own.

So, as I'm sure you all know, the sides of a vessel are not front, back, left and right, but bow, stern, port and starboard. As if there's a need to use some super-secret code for the highly sensitive information that denotes which part of the boat you're talking about. Call me crazy, but maybe if sailors used plain English, they'd have an easier time warding off those pirate attacks.

I mention this because this weekend on the 405, we drove by a small truck that was towing a fishing boat. And, you know how every boat has its names painted on the back ... er, sorry ... stern? Seems like boaters usually pick women's names (Andrea Gail, anyone?), weather phenomena (Hurricane, maybe) or cliches that were probably lifted from Jimmy Buffet songs (say, Life's a Beach).

Well, this boat on the 405 had a name that didn't quite fit into any of those categories, and frankly, I couldn't figure out why someone would paint this on the rear of their ship. Unless it was one of those nautical code words I just don't understand. But there it was in big, black, bold script: Priapism.

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